


Jokes On You

by ChompJames



Series: Holiday Curse [4]
Category: Wynonna Earp - Fandom
Genre: April Fools Day, Casual Injury, Clumsy Waverly, F/F, Wayhaught - Freeform, this is a hot mess, wynonna earp - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:21:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23433097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChompJames/pseuds/ChompJames
Summary: It’s April Fools Day...it’s not a REAL holiday so nothing bad should happen...right?
Relationships: Waverly Earp & Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Series: Holiday Curse [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633618
Comments: 39
Kudos: 131





	Jokes On You

**Author's Note:**

> Happy April Fools day folks! 
> 
> They’re back at it again!

_March 31st 11:42 PM_

Nicole was making the most obscene noises underneath Waverly’s hands. Waverly had Nicole right where she wanted her. Half naked in her bed and underneath her. 

“My poor brave baby.” Waverly whispered as her thumbs found another knot in between Nicole’s shoulder blades. 

Nicole groaned and sighed. “Remind me never to volunteer to be the one to get Wynonna off the mechanical bull again.” 

Waverly laughed as she picked up the massage oil she had laid out next to one of her candles. 

Nicole has been complaining all day of her back being sore and knotty. As any loving girlfriend would do, Waverly had transformed her room into a makeshift massage parlor. Putting fresh clean linen on her bed and setting up her fairy lights across her headboard. Hell she even went out and bought new stick candles to place around her room. 

Speaking of candles Waverly could not help how enraptured she became of watching the wax drip down the candle and harden around the candle stick. She had always been a little interested in wax play. 

Darting her eyes back to Nicole she notices the redhead still has her eyes closed as her head laid to the side on her mattress. There’s no harm in trying new things right? It’s not like it looked hard or anything. You just pour some wax on someone, how hard could it be really? 

Waverly lifted the candlestick high above Nicole’s naked back, tipping it slightly as she watched a few drops of wax skate across Nicole’s oiled up back. 

“Oh wow. Is that a warming oil babe?” Nicole asked with a grunt. 

As she watched the wax solidify Waverly was enthralled. Maybe she was a little kinkier than she thought. Lowering the candle a bit, she tips it quickly again, watching the white liquid roll from Nicole’s shoulders down to her boxers while a stray drop or two inched their way to Nicole’s ribs. 

Nicole jostled a bit underneath her. “That’s  really  warm.” 

_11:55 PM_

The wax hardening over Nicole’s skin was just too beautiful for Waverly to resist. She brought the candle down closer, within six inches of Nicole’s bare skin and tipped it again. 

It all happened so fast and simultaneously. First of which Waverly was bucked off Nicole’s ass like a amateur bull rider while Nicole screamed. Nicole scrambled to her feet, back turning bright red underneath the wax, as Waverly was softly tossed to her mattress. 

Waverly watched in horror as she lost control over the candlestick. It landing on Nicole’s pile of clothes and igniting right away. 

“What the fuck was that Waverly?!” Nicole yelled out. 

Nicole was still facing away from the bonfire that was her clothing. 

“Nicole!!” Waverly shouted to get her attention. When Nicole turned around, pain drained from her eyes and panic overtook them.

Waverly pointed uselessly to the orange flames licking their way closer to the mattress. 

Nicole yelped as she looked around aimlessly for anything to put the fire out. 

_11:57 PM_

Waverly had never felt so happy to see Wynonna bursting into her room without knocking when she saw the bright red fire extinguisher. “Stand back Naughty Haughty, I’ll save you!” 

Waverly rolled her eyes at that but still was elated as she watched white foam burst from the nozzle and blanket the hardwood of her room and put the fire out. 

Waverly was a little shell shocked as she took in the scene around her. Nicole’s skin looked angrier than Wynonna when someone ate the last donut. Her floor looked like the middle of winter and Wynonna just looked confused. 

“Waves what the hell were you pouring on my back?”

“Baby girl...the fuck?”

Waverly whined. “Wax. It was wax from my candle. I don’t know? I thought it would be sexy! Are you burnt?”

_11:59 PM_

Nicole pinched the bridge of her nose. “I mean it hurts but I don’t think it’s bad. We are going to have a serious talk about consent though. My keys, and phone were in my pants.”

Waverly caught Wynonna’s eye as she continued to look between the two of them. “This is an April fool’s day joke right?”

Waverly groaned as she stood up on her bed. “It’s not even April 1st Wynonna.”

An alarm rang from Waverly’s phone indicating midnight just as Waverly stepped off her bed. As soon as her feet came in contact with the foam her legs flew out from underneath her. 

Landing on her back with a groan as the foam jutted out from beneath her and rained down on her. “Shitballs.”

“Baby!” Nicole’s voice was laced in concern. 

Waverly opened her eyes to see Nicole hovering above her. “I’m fine.”

Wynonna chuckled a bit before gesturing towards the whole room. “Alright. Well. Yeah, you guys take care of  _all this_.  I’m going to bed.”

Nicole helped Waverly to her feet before sitting her on the bed. “Wax? That’s not something to play around with babe. It can be really dangerous.”

Waverly nodded before looking away. “I don’t know what got into me. Can i take a look at your back?” 

Nicole nodded before turning around. Waverly skirted her fingers over the shiny red skin of Nicole’s back. Thankful it was only a first degree burn as it could have went way worse. 

“I’m so sorry love. I’ll clean up this mess and then rub some aloe on it. I’ll replace your phone in the morning and we can figure out what to do about your keys then too.” Waverly apologized. 

She felt extremely bad but thankful it wasn’t Nicole she lit on fire. “April Fools Day isn’t a holiday...right babe?”

🔥🔥🔥🔥

_April 1st 8:02 AM_

Nicole had just finished pouring coffee into her cup before Wynonna swiped it from the counter. “Morning Fire Crotch or should I say Fire Back now?”

With a swift jab to Wynonna’s shoulder Nicole felt a little better as Wynonna spilled coffee on to the counter. “That was a lame one even coming from you Wynonna.” 

Nicole set about making herself another cup of coffee while Wynonna glared at her. “Back is better though. Waverly rubbed some aloe on it last night after we cleaned the room. April’s Fools day isn’t a real holiday but it seems like  _it’s back_.” 

Wynonna seemed to ponder that. “Weird Waverly getting hurt though, right? I mean usually it’s just you. Did anything else happen last night?”

Pursing her lips before taking a well deserved sip of her coffee, Nicole shook her head. “No usually she doesn’t get hurt. Nothing else happened last night. Actually I think she got a splinter when she was cleaning something up. Weird.”

Maybe it wasn’t the holiday curse and last night was really just an accident. They ended up having a lengthy conversation about consent and the fact that if either was willing or wanting to try something new that there would need to be a conversation about it. Waverly had been shy at first but Nicole had assured her that nothing was wrong with finding new things you liked. It was a healthy conversation filled with love and understanding. 

Hearing the pitter patter of tiny footsteps on the stairs, Nicole goes about making her precious girlfriend a fresh cup of coffee. Two sugars and a good amount of French vanilla creamer. Instinctually she held it out for Waverly to take as she took another sip of her own.

What she wasn’t expecting was for Waverly to be running into the kitchen and slam chest first into the cup. The results from it were expected. Waverly jumped back with a scream. The white tank top she was sporting now completely drenched in the brown coffee. Normally tan skin now reddening from the heat of the spilled liquid. 

Eyes growing wide Nicole tries to sputter out an apology. “Oh shit. Sorry baby. Are you okay?”

Seeing Waverly’s jaw tense and eyes tightly shut Nicole can’t help but feel worse as Waverly tries to wave her off. “It’s fine. Just a bit hot.” 

Wynonna snickers. “Hot or  _Haught_ .”

“Shut up Wynonna” both women said in unison. 

Wynonna held her hands up. “I’m not the one who spilled hot wax nor hot coffee on either of you. So let’s not gang up on the innocent one here.” 

Wynonna was right. “Sorry Wynonna.”

Wynonna gulped. “Wait. What?”

Waverly narrowed her eyes. “Yeah what she said.”

“It’s not Wynonna’s fault you’ve got coffee all over you. Why don’t you go change and I’ll

make you a new cup.” 

Feeling the tension in the room start to settle a bit Nicole went about her task. Only stopping when she saw Waverly was still in the room. “Yes?”

“Did you call in for work? I, uh, called your dealership. They’ll have a new key fob for your truck this afternoon. I still have the spare key to your house so we can cut a new one today.” Waverly said softly.

She was still terribly embarrassed about the whole ordeal yesterday which Nicole knew. She softened at that. “Yeah I did. We still have to stop by so I can get a set of keys from the office to cut for the gym.” 

Waverly nodded. “Of course. Whatever you need. I’ll also buy you a new phone.”

“I’ve got insurance on it. It’s fine babe. Really. Just go change and we can head out.” Nicole pleaded.

Waverly turned on her heel and headed back up the stairs as Nicole finished making a second cup of coffee for her. Running a hand through her hair and wondering what exactly was going on. Never had Waverly been the one who had ended being hurt during this  _holiday curse_ fiasco. 

Waverly slipped on her own though. It made sense there was slippery foam on the ground. Nicole still wasn’t too sure how Waverly had ended up with a splinter but shit happens. The coffee though. That’s where things were a little odd. Nicole always had Waverly’s cup of coffee stretched out to her and Waverly never ran into the kitchen like she did this morning. It all just seemed a little... _odd_.

She had bigger things to think of right now though. 

As she crossed the kitchen with Waverly’s thermos in hand the brunette almost crashed into her for a second time. However Nicole was prepared this time with a lid on the thermos. “You’re in a hurry today.”

Waverly smiles softly. “Lots of stuff to replace.” 

Setting the thermos on the counter Nicole took Waverly’s hand in her own. Placing her arm around Waverly’s waist pressing her close. “What are you doing?” Waverly laughed.

“Dancing with my girl.” Nicole smiled as she guided them along the kitchen in a slow, and much to her chagrin, off beat slow dance. It didn’t seem to matter that their knee’s knocked together to Waverly who softly placed her head against Nicole’s chest. 

Granted she had been a  _little frustrated_ with Waverly last night over the whole wax debacle. And setting fire to all her stuff but she was over that. She felt terrible for spilling coffee all over her. 

As graciously as she could Nicole glided them through the kitchen and into the living room where Wynonna was sitting. 

“I did not need to see Nicole’s lack of dancing skills this morning.” Wynonna said with an eye roll.

Dismissing the comment Nicole guided Waverly into a easy spin. Except for the fact that Waverly tripped over Nicole’s shoes. 

Nicole tried, she honestly  _tried_ to catch Waverly but she was too slow. Helpless as she watched Waverly trip and stumble into the couch causing her to fall right on top of that old and decrepit thing they called a coffee table. 

It was no surprise to Nicole at least that the damn thing would collapse underneath Waverly’s weight. Not that Waverly weighed a lot or anything...the coffee table was old as shit. 

When Nicole managed to tear her eyes away from Waverly to look at Wynonna, the look on Wynonna’s face was a mix of ‘your in deep shit Haught’ and ‘this is more entertaining than karaoke night at Shorty’s’. 

“Baby. Baby. Are you okay?Is anything broken?” Nicole asked in a panic as she rushed to Waverly’s side. 

Groans were coming from Waverly which was acceptable but Nicole feared for her life when Waverly opened her eyes and pure  _**wrath**_ had engulfed the usual beautiful hazel eyes. 

She looked kinda cute in a jumbled mess trying to look angry. “How many times Nicole have I asked you to  _properly_ put your shoes away?!”

As always Wynonna loved to stir the pot. “Yeah Nicole. That’s just an _accident_ waiting to happen.” 

Biting her tongue, because how many times had Waverly accidentally hurt her, Nicole offers her hand to Waverly to help her get up. It took a minute and a devilish glare but eventually she took it. “Baby. That was a completely random accident. I’m sorry. Are you hurt?” 

Proceeding to stretch and pop her back Waverly shook her head. “Maybe a little bruised but I’ll be alright. Just please  _remember_ to put your shoes away. Sorry for snapping. I’ve gained a whole new level of respect for you love, you’re constantly getting broken bones or injured and I can’t even handle a little spilled coffee.” 

Nicole chuckled as she shook her head. “I’m used to it by now. I promise to be better about my shoes though.” 

The  _holiday curse_ had so far only caused injury to her. Nicole was perplexed as to why it suddenly seemed to be picking on her girlfriend all of a sudden. She would much rather take any injury than feel the pain of knowing she was hurting the love of her life. 

“‘Maybe I can just borrow your Jeep and get all this stuff done myself.” Nicole offered. 

She was starting to understand how terrible Waverly would feel after each holiday and injury. It was heart crushing to realize the reason the person you loved was in pain was because you caused it. 

Waverly dismissed the idea entirely. “Not a chance babe. We do this together.” 

She loved her stubborn hard headed girlfriend. 

☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️

Nicole was on edge as she sat in the passenger seat of Waverly’s Jeep. Was this a cruel joke from the universe that on April Fools day their predicament would be reversed? 

She now understood the anxiety and fear Waverly had felt every holiday. Even though Nicole didn’t care at all about possible injuries, the fact was daunting. Why...why was this reversed and happening? 

Glancing over at Waverly who was singing along to some top 40’s pop song, Nicole smiles, she was so relaxed and happy looking. Arm draped casually over the steering wheel and head slightly tipped towards her window. She was gorgeous. Her Granny and Pappy has loved her and even insisted on FaceTiming them at least once a week...

“THE FOUR LEAF CLOVER!!!” Nicole screamed out. Which in turn scared Waverly who jerked her car and ended up slamming her head against the window. 

Looking sheepish as Waverly glared at her as she rubbed a spot on her head that was sure to be sore now. “Sorry.”

Waverly’s face softened. “It’s okay sweetie pie. Now what about the four leaf clover?” 

Immediately Nicole took her wallet out and carefully extracted her lucky clover. Carefully shoving it in Waverly’s face. “What if the universe is fucking with us? My lucky clover is saving me on April Fools Day!” 

Waverly seemed to be in deep thought at the sudden news. “So basically April Fool’s is a switch up. Adding in the four leaf clover is just hitting the nail on the coffin. What have we done so wrong in our lives?” 

Nicole didn’t have a good enough answer for that. She truly didn’t know. “Maybe it’s because we’re so good together that the universe had to throw in hiccups every once in a while.”

“How are you the absolute sweetest?” Waverly sighed as she reached across the console to lay her hand on Nicole’s leg. Instinctually Nicole’s grabs the smaller hand, intertwining their fingers, and gives a small squeeze. 

She loved this. Mundane tasks weren’t boring with Waverly. Sure maybe it wasn’t quite so boring because eventually something was probably going to happen. This very moment though was what Nicole had dreamed about all her life. She wanted someone she’d have fun with just going to the grocery store or doing a home project with. 

None of the relationships she had prior to Waverly was like that. When Nicole has offered to fix the porch of the homestead last weekend Waverly didn’t just sit watching her. She offered her help and even though Nicole had to teach her a lot of things, it was fun and enjoyable. What would have been a days work turned into two but it was well worth it. She loved Waverly with every breath inside her body. It was absolutely tearing her up inside to know she had caused her pain today. 

As they pulled into her gym Nicole hopped out before opening Waverly’s door for her. Together they made their way to the gym’s doors, and as always, Nicole went to open to door for Waverly to enter first. However the door seemed to stick a bit at first. She tried to pull a little harder only for the door to open a mere inch or two.

“Gonna have to put some WD40 on this bitch or something.” Nicole grunted out as she put all her weight into manhandling the door open. Which worked. Except it opened right into Waverly’s face. 

“What the flying fuck!!” Waverly screamed out, hands flying to her nose, as she crumpled to her knee’s.

Waverly cursed a lot but the word  _fuck_ rarely came out of that pretty mouth. 

Nicole wasn’t even sure what to do. She felt useless and stupid. “Shit. Fuck baby. I’m so so sorry times infinity. Let me carry you to my office so we can make sure it’s not broken.” 

Waverly nodded as Nicole picked her up bridal style. There was blood leaking from Waverly’s nose and through her hands but Nicole was hopeful it wasn’t broken. “God. I am so fucking sorry baby. You can punch me in the nose if you want.” 

A slight chuckle followed by a groan left Waverly’s lips. “Don’t make me laugh. It hurts.” Waverly complained with a slap to Nicole’s chest. 

Bypassing the usual busy morning crowd, all who turned their heads in confusion at the sight before them, Nicole was able to carry Waverly into her office and set her down carefully on the couch. Quickly she found a towel, giving it to Waverly, before being able to check on her nose. 

Kneeling down Nicole looks up at Waverly. “I’ve broken my nose a few times. Can I check it? It’s probably going to hurt.” 

Through the towel Waverly whined. Nicole noticed the tiny tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes. She wished more than anything that she was the one with a bloody nose. She felt herself getting choked up at the fact that Waverly was in pain. 

As gently as she could Nicole felt Waverly’s nose. There didn’t seem to be any cracking sound nor swelling. Slight bruising though. “It’s not broken babe. I’ll go get you a ice pack though.” 

Breathing a sigh of relief Nicole is grateful it’s not broken. She wasn’t sure how she’d be able to live with herself if she had broken Waverly’s nose. With an ice pack in hand she carefully makes her way back over towards Waverly. 

“Let’s see if the bleeding has stopped.” Nicole asked. She tried smiling, at least to ease Waverly nerves and worry, but she just couldn’t. 

Gingerly she took the towel from underneath Waverly’s nose. Much to her relief the bleeding had stopped. Waverly’s nostrils and upper lip were stained a bit red but nothing a wet wipe wouldn’t fix. 

“Ow, owww.” Waverly hissed as Nicole lightly put the ice pack over her delicate nose. “I’m already going to say a **hell no** to even any attempt at sex tonight.”

Eyes widened Nicole didn’t even want to imagine how she could hurt Waverly like  _that_.  “Listen, why don’t I drive you back home and I’ll go and get everything I need done. I’ll come back to the homestead when I’m done, unless you want me to stay away.” 

Nicole didn’t expect Waverly to lurch forward and grasp her by the collar of her t-shirt. Eyes wide and searching. “No. I’ll always want you to come back to me.” 

Nicole knew without a doubt she was soft. Wynonna had coined her soft from the moment she first saw Waverly and Nicole interact. With Waverly grasping her like she was Nicole was basically soft serve ice cream at this point. 

“Course baby. I’ll always come back to you. Now let me get you home.” Nicole smiled. 

On the way out Nicole made sure to grab her extra set of gym keys to make replicates. As long as they were there she might as well. 

Tires crunching on the gravel driveway of the homestead Nicole was already preparing herself for the onslaught of Wynonna. Nicole had  lended some of her pain killers to Waverly and the effects were obvious. Waverly was slumped over and drooling on the window. 

Carefully she extracted the drunk like woman, carrying her to the house, having to knock since her hands were full. 

It took Wynonna five minutes to open the door. Waverly was light but still Nicole could feel her forearms burn as Wynonna finally opened the door with a shocked look on her face. 

“What the fuck Nicole. What happened to her nose?” Wynonna asked as Nicole passed by her and gently laid Waverly on the couch. 

Waverly perked her little drugged head up. “She wa’so mad. She hit me in the face.” 

_Well shit_. 

Nicole turned around so fast she almost gave herself whiplash eyes wide in fear. “That’s not what it sounds like Wynonna.” 

With a quick duck she was able to avoid the left hook Wynonna threw at her. However she was quite impressed at the technique and force behind the punch. “Wynona listen!”

“Oooh I’ll be listening alright. To you gurgling on your blood and begging me to stop punching you in the face.” Wynonna seethed. 

Nicole didn’t want to hurt Wynonna but also she didn’t want to get hurt. She was in quite the predicament it seemed like. 

“Wynonna. You know I would  _**never**_ hurt Waverly. I love her.” Nicole shouted as she dodged a lurch from Wynonna. 

Wynonna was quick though and Nicole didnt move fast enough before feeling a punch to her ribs. “Fuck. Seriously?!”

Needing to make a quick decision Nicole speared Wynonna. Sending them both to the ground with Nicole coming out on top. _As usual. Except wrong sister._

Securing Wynonna’s hands above her head, Nicole steadied her hips as Wynonna tried to buck her off. “The door hit her in the face Wynonna.”

An angry Wynonna was not a reasonable Wynonna. “Oh yeah, good one, how original of you Nicole.” 

Okay when she said it out loud it sounded cringe worthy. Definitely something an abusive partner would say. 

Exasperated she tries again. “Seriously. The gym door was stuck and I forced it open. It flung and hit her right in the face. I gave her some of my pain meds and she’s a little loopy right now.” 

Nicole felt like she was on a wild stallion with the furious bucking of Wynonna’s hips. It’s not like she could blame her though. Waverly’s little drugged out misinformed confession would be daunting. She knows she would fight Wynonna if the situation was switched. 

“Are you doing my sister?” A slurred Waverly gasps. 

“ _**NO**_ ”  both women say in unison. 

Nicole stood quickly and rushed towards the couch. “Baby. Please tell Wynonna what happened to your nose.” 

It was adorable how Waverly attempted to crinkle her nose in confusion but then it was not so adorable when she gasped in pain. “Wha? The door. It hit me in the face.” 

Turning towards a advancing Wynonna with pleading eyes Nicole practically begs her to listen. “See?! It was the door.” 

Wynonna stopped but Nicole could feel her eyes burning into her. “How do I know you didn’t make her say that?” 

With a small shake of her head Waverly sat up. “What is going on?”

“You said Nicole was mad and hit you!” Wynonna hissed with venom in her words. 

Nicole prepared her body to overtake Wynonna again. Waverly’s eyes were a little glazed over as she let out a cute giggle. 

“No silly. She was mad at the door. Then the door hit me. Be nice to Nicole. She gave me the good drugs.” Waverly yawned before laying her head back down on the couch cushion. 

Normally Nicole would have a smug look on her face when Waverly proved Wynonna wrong but in this case fear was still written all over it. “See? Wynonna you know I love her.” 

She could see the conflicting emotions clearly in Wynonna’s eyes. “Yeah. Well you better. Once she’s not all drugged up you bet your fire crotch ass I’m going to get the whole story out of her.” 

Letting out a long and languid breath Nicole nods her head. “That’s fine. Look, her nose isn’t broken but it’s bruised pretty bad. I’ve got to still go run my errands but then I’ll be back.” 

With a soft kiss to Waverly’s temple and edging past Wynonna with a wide berth Nicole leaves. 

🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕

Waverly awakes startled. The TV is loud and she’s pretty sure she heard something about Tiger King in her sleep. “Where’s Nicole?”

“Finally you’re awake. What happened to your nose?! Did Nicole hit you? I will kill her.” Wynonna yells a little too loudly for Waverly’s liking. 

Her head is pounding and her nose really stings. “What? No. Wynonna. Why would you say that?”

In the blink of an eye Wynonna is crouched down in front of her and directly in her face. Waverly felt her eyes go a little cross eyed. 

“Baby girl.” Wynonna sighed. “When you came in and Nicole laid you down, you said and I quote, ‘She wa’so mad. She hit me in the face’” 

At a loss of words Waverly just slowly lets her jaw start to hang. “Did you kill her???”

That sometimes ugly chuckle but sometimes endearing chuckle escapes Wynonna’s mouth. “No. However not for lack of trying. She’s strong. She speared me and held me firmly to the ground. Held my hands above me head and everything.”

With a blush rising to her cheeks Waverly bites her lower lip. She loved that dominate side of Nicole. There was nothing more sexy than being at the mercy of Nicole. 

“Ew. Gross. I did get a punch in though so, I wasn’t completely useless. She’s lucky I didn’t have Peacemaker on me.” Wynonna proudly said. 

Waverly rolled her eyes. Although it was super sweet. However Nicole would never... _could_ _never_ hurt her. Except accidentally and apparently only today. Thanks to that stupid four leaf clover. Nicole was who she was waiting for, for her whole life. 

As corny as it sounded it was true none the less. No partner before ever paid attention when she talked about her studies. Often yawning and telling her she should turn her brain off for a bit. Nicole though? She listened intently to her rambling and asked questions. She got excited when Waverly got excited. 

For God’s sake the woman was basically a saint every holiday when she was constantly on the losing side of injuries. There would never be another Nicole and Waverly never wanted there to be. It was probably  _way too soon_ to be talking about moving in together but Waverly couldn’t help but think of it. Waking up every morning snuggled against her bonus blanket. Cooking for each other every night. Arguing about where the vegetables went in the fridge. It was everything she ever wanted really. 

“How long has she been gone?” Waverly asked. She hated feeling needy but she missed her. 

Wynonna huffed. “Do I look like a clock. I don’t know.” 

Just as she was about to respond it felt like time stopped as Nicole walked in the door. Her eyes first went to Wynonna with what looked like a little bit of fear. Then softening as they landed on her. Those gorgeous dimples popping with that million dollar smile. 

Nicole stopped before reaching them both. “Ugh, everything get worked out?” 

Waverly could tell she was nervous. Nicole only scratched her collarbone when she was nervous. 

“Yeah.” Waverly said with a chuckle. “Sorry about that. Those pills were just really good.”

Nicole waved her off. “It’s alright baby. Wynonna punches like she has clouds for fists. How’s your pain?”

With a nervous finger Waverly brushes her noses. She winces but it’s not nearly as bad as it had been earlier. “Manageable. Did you get everything you needed done?” 

Nicole smiled wide. “I did! I even found a new vegan trail mix I thought you would like.” Nicole held up the bag like a peacock spreading its feathers. 

She was amazing in every sense of the word. “Gimmie!” 

Vegan trail mix was her jam. Greedily she opened the jar when Nicole handed it to her and dug right in. The spice hit her first and the flavor was mouth watering. 

It wasn’t until her second handful that she started to feel like something was wrong. She had felt this way before. This was  **not** good. 

Turning the jar in her hands she rapidly reads the ingredient list through watery eyes. Stopping at the ingredient she was hoping was not on the list. Sesame seeds.

“Waves?” Nicole stuttered.

Clawing at her throat Waverly tries to get air into her lungs. Difficult since her nose was bruised and her throat was closing up. Frantically she points to her purse. 

“Ah fuck.” Wynonna hisses as she makes a mad dash to Waverly’s purse. 

She needed her EpiPen and quick. 

Watching Nicole frantically turn her body in different directions with no real destination. She couldn’t fault Nicole for this, she didn’t know she was allergic to the sesame seeds. 

“She’s allergic to sesame seeds! She needs her epipen!” Wynonna yelled. 

Starting to notice tunnel vision Waverly cursed herself for having the worlds largest and most filled purse as she continued to watch Wynonna dig through it. 

“Aha! Got it baby girl!” Wynonna cheered before making a mad dash to her side.

Waverly prepared herself as Wynonna uncapped the cap. She tried to relax her thigh as Wynonna placed the epipen tip to it. She closed her eye as it happened. 

_One, two, three...and a gasp of air._

Wynonna removed the epipen and collapsed on the couch next to her. 

It felt like the first breath after being born, or the breath you thought would never happen after you get the wind knocked out of you. But she was breathing. It was slow and raspy but still....a breath was a breath. 

Nicole sunk to her knee’s. “ _**Fuck**_!!!  Baby. I’m so sorry. I could have killed you. Jesus.”

Nicole was crying. Down on her knee’s and vulnerable. 

“What the fuck is going on?” Wynonna asked in a shaky voice. 

“The holiday curse is reversed. April Fools day and I found a four leaf clover in Ireland. The world is fucking with us.” Nicole cried out. “Does she need to go to the hospital?!”

Wynonna shook her phone. “On it already.”

Waverly felt exhausted. Yet she opened her arms to Nicole anyway. “C’mere babe.”

Feeling the crushing weight of her girlfriend in her arms was comforting. “Shhhh it’s okay love. That’s my fault. I didn’t tell you I was allergic. I’m fine.” 

She felt the tears soak her shirt as she stroked Nicole’s hair and whispered in her ear. In no time she could hear the ambulance pulling up to the driveway. 

She knew she’d be loaded on a stretcher and that was always annoying.

“Come with me?” Waverly asked as the paramedics strapped her in. 

“Course.” Nicole said with a sad smile. 

As the paramedics lifted the stretcher Nicole offered her help and Waverly thought it was adorable until Nicole tripped and the stretcher fell to the ground. The stretcher that she was on. 

“ _Seriously Nicole_?” Waverly asked half in annoyance and somewhat amused. Rubbing the back of her head that slammed into the pad.

Nicole looked up at the sky. Waverly was wondering if she was praying or cursing at God. Either way she made it into the ambulance without further incidents before Nicole joined her with a sheepish smile. 

👩🏻⚕️🧑🏼⚕️👩🏻⚕️🧑🏼⚕️👩🏻⚕️🧑🏼⚕️

Three hours and a new epipen later Waverly and Nicole walk hand in hand out of the Emergency Room. Wynonna had driven Nicole’s truck to the hospital but deemed sitting around waiting do nothing too boring and had called an Uber to take her to Shorty’s. 

Nicole felt awful. She could have killed Waverly. Even just thinking about it brought a shiver to her spine. 

Waverly noticed. “Baby. I told you it’s not your fault. Now we both know each other’s deathly allergies and it won’t be a problem.” 

Still the image of Waverly clawing at her throat was haunting her. She was sure it would haunt her dreams for quite some time. “I’m going to burn it. Then maybe it’ll stop. It’ll go back to me getting hurt.” 

Angrily grabbing at her wallet Nicole finds her stupid four leaf clover. Ready to set it aflame. A soft hand stops her though. 

“Nicole. You’ve searched for twenty four years for that. There is no way in hell im letting you burn that. Let’s just go back to the homestead and watch movies in bed. I don’t think much injury could happen that way.” Waverly reassured her. 

Waverly really was the most perfect person on the planet. For her at least. “Are you sure? I’ll burn this right here and now.” 

Waverly chuckled but shook her head. Opening her door for her, Nicole waits until Waverly is  _all the way in_ the cab before softly closing the door. As she made her way around to her own door, pulling the handle, she snakes her hand back quickly as if she’d been burned. 

A brown substance on her fingers. Cautiously she bring them to her nose for a sniff. 

Peanut butter. 

Who the fuck would put peanut butter underneath her door handle? 

_Wynonna_. 

As she get settled in her seat she notices a note on her dashboard. 

_Nicole, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t at least do one April Fools Day prank. You’re lucky it’s a mild one because you have to take care of Waverly. Hope you’re not allergic to peanuts!_

_-Your best friend, Wynonna._

“Is that....peanut butter?” Waverly asked as she noticed her hand. 

Nicole couldn’t help but smile as she passed the note to Waverly. Grabbing a few wet wipes from her center console. They were useful...for things. 

Engine coming alive, Nicole tilts her head. “Let’s get our move night started babes.” 

🥜🥜🥜🥜🥜🥜

Lounging in Waverly’s queen sized bed with Wonder Woman playing on the TV Nicole can’t help but feel grateful and sentimental. Sure Waverly had broken a few of her bones and given her a concussion or two but nothing close to death. 

Her heart was breaking at that thought. She loved Waverly more than anything in this world and wouldn’t know what to do if she had lost her. The whole day had been shitty. She would rather stick a nail underneath her toenail and kick a wall than cause Waverly any sort of pain. 

All day she had been beating herself up about it. She loved being around her feisty and smart girlfriend but if Waverly hadn’t pleaded they be together today, she much rather would have stayed far  _far away_.  She still had half a mind to burn that stupid four leaf clover but it was a special memory that she had shared with Waverly. 

Waverly had complained about the pain in her nose halfway into the movie so Nicole happily gave her another one of her pain killers. Sure it was frowned upon and yeah  _illegal_ but she cared for Waverly and she was here with her. 

It was a little past nine PM and Nicole was counting down the seconds until midnight so April Fools Day would be over. She had enough of this shit and she was tired. The anxiety she was experiencing about any move she made was exhausting. 

They had called for delivery, Chinese food, normally Nicole wouldn’t eat this late but Waverly hadn’t been hungry yet. 

** *Knock* *Knock* **

Moving carefully out of their cuddle position but not without the cutest pout from Waverly, Nicole collects their food. Making sure to stop at the kitchen for a hefty dollop of peanut butter for her girlfriends odd combination of sweet and sour soup with it. 

Worried she would somehow trip and spill all the hot food on Waverly, Nicole made sure to be extra careful as she delivered the food to her starving girlfriend. It went off without a hitch and Nicole was beginning to think maybe this whole thing was over. 

As the credits rolled on Wonder Woman Waverly pleaded to watch a new historical documentary that had recently just came out. 

She didn’t know much about the documentary or the history that surrounded it but honestly at this point Nicole would give Waverly anything that sweet little heart desired. 

Reaching for the remote with her greasy hands she watched it horror as it slipped out of her hands and in slow motion crashed right into Waverly’s lip. She swore she saw Waverly’s lip split open as if it was a movie. 

“You have got to be kidding me.” Waverly shouted as her tiny fingers found the split in her lip. 

At least it wasn’t bleeding as bad as her nose had been. 

“Nicole.” Waverly sighed. “I’m trying very  _very_ hard not to lose my temper. I know you have to deal with this every holiday and honestly I’m not sure how you do it because I’m a tiny ball of rage right now.” Waverly said through gritted teeth as she pulled a handkerchief out of her nightstand and applied pressure to her lip.

Honestly Nicole couldn’t blame her. She knew her own pain tolerance was high due to the various injuries from rock climbing and being an adventurous kid. One summer she had broken her leg and didn’t even really realize it until her Granny and Pappy noticed how awkward it looked. She was more furious about having to be in a cast for the rest of the summer than the pain that came with it. 

Sighing Nicole attempted to get out of the bed. “I’ll just go home. I can’t stay here and keep hurting you. I know physically it’s hurting you but I am absolutely dying inside Waverly.” 

She was pulled back by two strong arms. “Don’t you dare leave my bed Nicole Haught. We are in this together but maybe we should just go to sleep.” 

Nicole was torn. Of course she wanted to spend the night with her girlfriend but she was utterly distraught at the thought of hurting her again. Waverly deserved love. Boundless snd never ending love. Not split lips, bruised noses and not to mention  _almost dying_. 

9:30 was a little early usually for Nicole to attempt to sleep but eventually she gave in. Waverly laid on her side and Nicole cuddled her from behind. 

“Don’t choke me in my sleep Haught.” Waverly jokes with a yawn. 

_Oh God I hadn’t even thought of that._

Nervously giggling she promised she wouldn’t. Drowsy from the pain meds, Waverly was the first to succumb to the sand man. Nicole could feel herself getting drowsy as she inhaled the lavender and apple scented shampoo of Waverly’s. Softly stroking up and down Waverly’s arm watching as the goosebumps formed where her fingers laid a trail. 

She doesn’t know when she actually fell asleep but she wakes when she hears Waverly scream out in pain. “Wha’s wrong?”

Waverly’s face is twisted in pain and she had moved far away from her. “You knee’d me in the damn back. Oh my god. It hurts so bad.” 

Glancing at the clock Nicole notices it’s only 10:30. 

_Fuck April Fools Day._

Reaching out for her, Waverly flinches breaking a piece of Nicole’s soul. “Go. Please. Go sleep on the couch. I don’t think I can handle another hour and half of the unknown.”

Feelings a bit hurt Nicole complies. Making her way quietly down the squeaky steps with a pillow and a blanket to set up camp on the couch. Adjusting herself and getting as comfortable as she could on the somewhat stiff couch she closes her eyes. The terrible image of Waverly clawing at her throat playing like a move on the inside of her eyelids. 

Eventually she drifts into a restless sleep. Until she was awoken by someone lifting her arm and snuggling against her. Opening one eye she spots a sheepish Waverly. 

“Wha’ssa time?” Nicole asks with a groggy voice. 

“11:15.” Waverly yawns. “I couldn’t sleep without you. I’m sorry baby. Sometimes my anger speaks before I can. I promise you are worth every bruise and cut on my body.” 

Smiling Nicole scoots further into the couch to make room for her tiny girlfriend. “I just can’t wait for the day to be over.” 

Waverly grabs ahold of Nicole’s arm, wrapping it securely around her waist. “Me neither toots.” 

🙇🏻♀️🙇🏻♀️🙇🏻♀️🙇🏻♀️🙇🏻♀️

Wynonna crept quietly into the living room. Amused and confused as to why the two love birds were asleep on a small couch. Either way she couldn’t wait until the morning to learn more about the tragedies that had occurred. 

It was less fun when it was her own baby sister but still somewhat amusing. She knew Nicole loved Waverly more than herself. Wynonna even loved Nicole. She was a good seed. 

As quietly as she could she gathered a few more blankets to drape over her baby sister. She didn’t want her to freeze to death in the middle of the night or anything. 

For a moment she just stopped and stared at the couple. She was thankful Waverly had found her person. Despite the clumsiness and the stupid holiday curse, they were amazing together. 

Leaving them there on the couch she couldn’t help but notice the protective arm over Waverly. Even in sleep Nicole would do anything to protect Waverly. The huge grin on Waverly’s face spoke volumes. 

As she ascended the stairs she almost,  _almost_ felt bad about pushing Waverly slightly into Nicole this morning and making her coffee spill all over her....

**Author's Note:**

> Let me tell you...it is WAY harder to injure Waverly than it is Nicole. I had a hard time with this one so I hope it came out okay! Lemme know how you liked the twist!!


End file.
